Maximum Ride:Adventures Of The Flock
by Maximum Vincente Ride
Summary: Watch and learn as Maximum, Felicia (Fang) Izzy (Iggy) & Angelo (Angel) struggle and make fun of their powers, relationships,entertainment, and themselves.


Maximum Ride: Adventures Of The Flock

By: Maximum Vicente Ride

episode 1a: The Meaningless Party

Theme Song: "All Caps" by Madvillain

* * *

_So nasty that it's probably somewhat of a travesty_  
_Having me daily total people_  
_You can call me Your Majesty_  
_Keep your battery charged_  
_You know it won't stick, yo_  
_And it's not his fault you kick slow_

_Should've let your trick 'ho chick hold your sick glow_  
_Plus nobody couldn't do nothin' once he let the brick go_  
_And you know I know that's a bunch of snow_  
_The beat is so butter_  
_Peep the slow cutter_

_As he utters the calm flow_  
_Don't talk about my moms, yo_  
_Sometimes he rhyme quick, sometimes he rhyme slow_  
_And vice versa_  
_Whip up a slice of nice verse pie_  
_Hit it on the first try_  
_Villain: The Worst Guy_

_Spot hot tracks like spot a pair of fat asses_  
_Shots of the scotch from out of square shot glasses_  
_And he won't stop 'till he got the masses_  
_An' show 'em what they know now through flows of hot molasses_

_Do it like a robot to headspin to boogaloo_  
_Took a few minutes to convince the average bug-a-boo_  
_It's ugly, like look at you! It's a damn shame_  
_Just remember All Caps when you spell the man name_

_And you know it like a poet, like baby doll_  
_I bet she tried to say she gave me her all, she played ball_  
_All bets off! The Villain got the dice rigged_  
_And they say he accosted the man with the sliced wig_

_Allegedly; the investigation is still ongoing_  
_In this pesky inition he gots the best con flowin'_  
_The pot doubles, now they really got troubles_  
_Madman never go *pop*!, like snot bubbles_

* * *

There are three things I hate about life. Firstly, that sarcasm is today overused as a plot device in stories. Secondly,that good, decent people are hurt,maimed,killed or humiliated and no one does anything about it. Finally, that I keep on bending to the will of Angelo's puppy dog eyes.

"Max, do you even know how to play chess?", Angelo asked me. "I've checkmated you 32 times in a row and I only learned to play yesterday."

I rolled my eyes and dumped the chess pieces in the grass, and poured out the checkers pieces on the black & white chessboard. "Let's just begin playing checkers." Nonetheless, he wiped the floor with me for an hour, at which point I swiped all the checkers & chess pieces into the box, handed them and the board to Angelo, and went to bash my head against the trees for half an hour until Felicia returned from Burger Shack with dinner.

Like I said. Overuse of sarcasm will kill any story trying to be humorous.

"So, Max, have you considered the idea yet?" asked Felicia as Izzy buried her head in chili fries while Angelo watched the Lunarcorns (Penguins of Madagascar reference there). "No. I'm not considering it. ",I said, flatly." I don't even like Nathan. He's a spoilt brat, he's a horrible conversationalist and we're not going to his party."

Felicia lifted an eyebrow. "OK, see you later. C'mon guys," she said to Izzy and Angelo, who dropped the TV remote and the empty Burger Shack bag and walked out the door before I could even say a word or lift a finger.

Ah well. I picked up my cheeseburger, grabbed a Sprite, settled in front of the TV and switched the channel to Adult Swim, just in time to catch a MF Doom track. They'd finally seen sense to give the masked man his own TV show, and All Caps always led it in.

So. You're wondering who I am. Well, I'm a newly minted sophomore in college, along with Felicia and Izzy. I'm majoring in human relations, while Felicia's studying physics and Izzy's ... well, she's supposed to studying chemistry, which is why she loves explosions.

She doesn't get much studying done, due to her lack of interest in the beakers and lab coats (which Felicia does, as she also studies Chemistry. In fact, she takes all the science courses. Brainy, huh?). She instead spends her time building(and exploding) explosives, which she .

Angelo? Angelo's...well, Angelo. He watches the Lunarcorns and reads Nietzsche. He can also fly. We all can. But I haven't flown since...well...forget it. I'll tell you later.

I thoughtfully chewed on my cheeseburger and wondered what Felicia,Izzy & Angelo were doing.

* * *

"WHERE IS THE BATHROOM!" I yelled at a sober and dour looking Andreas Morales (aka Bladeboy, for reasons mentioned later). He lifted an eyebrow and pointed to my left. "Thanks," I said and ran for the bathroom, flung the door open and saw Angelo making out with a dark haired girl in the bathtub. "AAH!" I screamed, and ran away before either looked up.

I was regretting coming to this party. I couldn't find Izzy and Angelo was getting to second base with a girl he didn't even know. So, it was the usual college party. I eventually dove for the bushes and relieved myself. "AAH," I sighed as I let go of my bowels. I pulled up my pants, got up and looked around. There was no one around in this dark corner, and walked back around to the front of house.

There I saw Izzy blowing up firecrackers on a grill, sending up huge clouds of smoke. A large crowd was surrounding her, and they were cheering her on. A tall dude with a large Afro suddenly blocked my view of her, and said something into her ear I couldn't hear. The angry look on Izzy's face was all I needed to know.

Blood roared in my ears. My vision went black. Suddenly, I was standing over his body. Izzy looked at me, shocked, which made no sense. She couldn't even see,for god's sake. The whole crowd went silent. They stared at me with no hatred, but confusion and sadness.

I stared at Izzy. She stared at me through her blind eyes. Then suddenly the guy sprung back up. "Hey, everybody! It worked!" he yelled. I looked around, and their stares had dissolved into grins and laughter.

I couldn't believe it. I stared at Izzy, who was trying to bury a giggle. "What?" I demanded. "It's...it's just... she dissolved into laughter. I looked at her as if she was crazy. Then suddenly I fell over laughing.

* * *

Angelo walked out of the house with the dark-haired girl, holding her hand as they stared at the writhing bodies of Felicia, Izzy and everyone else.

She looked at him."I don't get it. Your friend grabbed that guy who angered Izzy and flung him on the ground with the force of a tyrannosaurus rex stomping on the ground, and he springs back up, unharmed , and everyone starts laughing, even her. What's the joke in this?"

Angelo shrugged. "That's the writer's pathetic attempt at humor."

The girl looked at him again. "I don't get it."

Angelo shrugged. "I don't either. C'mon. I'll walk you home."

"What about your friends?"

Angelo looked at Izzy and Felicia, who had stopped laughing and were now giggling as they climbed in Felicia's car & drove off.

He smiled."They'll be fine."

* * *

I looked up from Loiter Squad as Felicia and Izzy stumbled through the door, giggling and talking about how cute Kendrick Lamar was.

Yes. That actually happened. I looked at them as Izzy walked up the stairs grinning while Felicia opened a can of Fanta. She was smiling. I freaked out, and I wanted to know why she was smiling.

"So. What happened?"I said as calmly as I could. She turned from her shutting of the stove, but she didn't seem mad. "I pissed in a bush, Angelo's probably off getting laid, and then I beat up a guy who said something nasty to Izzy, but it turned out as a joke."

I looked at her, confused. " I don't get life."

She sighed. "I don't either. Maybe we're just supposed to make our choices, make and rectify our mistakes, and just enjoy it while it lasts."

"Yeah. That makes sense." I agreed. She shrugged. "Whatever. Good night, Maximum Ride."

I grinned at her as she walked past me to her room. I walked back into the living room, just as Angelo walked in. His golden hair was a mess, and so was he, but he was grinning like a loon.

I sighed. "You got laid, didn't you?" He kept on grinning. "Yep." I sighed. "OK, did you use protection?" He nodded. "Good. Go to bed. " He grinned and headed upstairs. I flopped on the couch and continued watching Loiter Squad. Yet I felt I was missing something.

* * *

Nathan scratched his back."Man, that hurt." A phone rang. He picked it up and answered it. "Yes?"

"NATHAN! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING CHASING AFTER CHARLIE LIKE THAT! YOU'RE LUCKY I GOT YOU OUT OF HELL! AND WHAT WERE YOU JUST DOING!"

Nathan looked around at the destroyed house.

"Nothing," he lied, and hung up. " Man. I shouldn't have had my ex-girlfriend Buttercup bail me out of Hell for this." He sighed, and began cleaning up the house.

* * *

**So. My first episode is finally done! I promise it'll get better from here on in. And I'd like some advice on jokes, cause I was really desperate to get this out. **

**PS. This Nathan is the same Nathan Wilkes I submitted for The Book of Nemesis. I'll explain why he's here... Actually, I'll leave that question alone. There's no continuity between this and that story, but just that he's from South Park and some South Park characters appearing here and there.**

**Remember, Read & Review!**

* * *

**Cast (voices):**

**Logan Lerman - Maximum Ride**

**Anna Kendrick - Felicia**

**Emily Osment - Izzy**

**Leo Howard - Angelo**

**Tyler the Creator- Nathan**

**Victoria Justice - Dark-haired girl, Buttercup(voice only)**


End file.
